


(Look at Me) I'm Falling

by cantthinkofausername_B_Pike



Series: Carry On Countdown 2017 [17]
Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alcohol, Carry On Countdown, F/F, Pining, Unrequited Love, how does one write nicodemus, much alcohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 16:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12987927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cantthinkofausername_B_Pike/pseuds/cantthinkofausername_B_Pike
Summary: Ebb and her friends go out one night, and Ebb spectacularly fails at keeping her mind off her giant crush on Fiona.





	(Look at Me) I'm Falling

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah this just sort of happened one day... I totally based the first part off of this on that one scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark when Indy goes to Marion's bar. Day 17 of the Countdown: wlw. Title from Falling by Alesso.  
> Also be warned there is some homophobia and it doesn't last long but deserves a warning.

Ebb downed another shot. She could barely feel the burn of the alcohol against her throat. How many shots was this again? Somehow, she’d gotten into some sort of challenge with some guy at the bar: whoever passed out first lost. She was going to win, she could tell. The guy, who had long hair and who was probably trying to get in her pants, dropped his shotglass before it reached his mouth, spilling cinnamon-scented liquor down the front of his too-small shirt. 

Ebb looked around the room. Where had her friends gone? When Fi had suggested a night out, Ebb was pretty sure that getting blackout drunk with a stranger wasn’t exactly what she’d had in mind. Ebb didn’t see Nicky until he was standing by her shoulder; the room was spinning around her. Maybe she’d had a few too many drinks after all.

“How’s it going, sis?” Nicky asked.

“I’m winning,” Ebb slurred happily.

Nicky eyed the sleazy guy suspiciously. “What’s his name?”

“Who cares?” Ebb replied.

Nicky leaned down and whispered in the other man’s ear, “I don’t think you’re her type.” 

His eyes widened perceptibly. “Oh, you’re one of _those_ ,” he sneered. It was ridiculous; this man was so drunk he could barely speak and was trying to pass judgement on someone else. Still, it stung. He tried to storm off angrily, but he collapsed halfway to the bar door.

“Fuck off,” Nicky spat.

“What’s going on?” Tasha spun over to them. “He looks like an asshole.” She rested her chin on the top of Ebb’s head. Ebb leaned on her. She was less likely to fall over now.

“He is,” Nicky agreed. “What were you doing with him, anyway?”

Ebb shrugged. She couldn’t remember. She could barely remember getting to the bar earlier.

“Fi?” Nicky called. “Fi, I think we’d better go.”

“Nah, ‘m fine,” Ebb protested.

“You sure?” Fi asked, hurrying over from her game of pinball.

Ebb nodded.

“We’ll stay here with you, then,” Tasha said from behind Ebb. “That’s what we came here for, anyway. A good time, just the four of us.”

Her friends grabbed barstools, and Tasha began a story about how her and Malcolm had gone dancing the weekend before. Her face lit up as she talked. Tasha had never really looked like she belonged at the bar; she seemed more at home in the library or in a classroom. Her dark hair was pulled back, and she wore an outfit seemingly designed to reveal as little skin as possible. Still, the shitty light reflecting off her face and the wide smile she couldn’t seem to kill made her seem like a painting of pure happiness.

Ebb was jealous of her and Malcolm. She knew that’s what she was supposed to do, what she was supposed to have. She also knew that she’d never have it. Tasha did, with Malcolm. Lucy Salisbury seemed to have found that with Davy, even if Davy was crazy and a bit creepy. Fi and Nicky seemed to be heading there. (And as much as she loved them both, she couldn’t help the shard of ice that pierced her heart every time she saw them together.)

It was getting toward the end of eighth year, and all the couples in the magickal community got together while they were at Watford. That just wasn’t in the cards for her, though. She’d known that for a while. Because she liked girls. Because she had a stupid crush on her brother’s girlfriend. 

To her left, Nicky told some sort of dumb joke, and Fi laughed anyway, the kind of laughter that came from joy. Her head was tilted back, and some of her choppy hair stuck to her forehead. She held some kind of drink in one hand, and the blunt, black nails curled around the glass practically screamed “stay away.” She was trying to look punk, with thick eyeliner and leather jacket, but Ebb thought she’d look beautiful even without all the makeup. While Tasha looked out of place at the bar, Fi blended in. This was her kind of place – as far away from the classroom as she could get. Fi preferred to be in the thick of things, taking action, and Ebb loved that about her. She always had, even before she had to go and develop _feelings_.

When Ebb tore her eyes away from Fi, she saw Nicky. Her brother was looking at Fiona like she was the sun, like she was _his_. And who was she to even think about Fiona laughing like that because of her? Nobody. She would sit and be happy for her brother and her best friend, because they were happy and they were in love, and she _would not_ resent them for it. She _would not_ imagine Fi being hers instead of Nicky’s.

Tasha threw a balled-up napkin at Nicky’s face. “We should get back. The bridge will go up soon, anyway.”

“Shit, you’re right!” Fi exclaimed.

Ebb was grateful. She knew neither of them particularly cared about being locked out of Watford for the night; they’d all done it before. Besides, the bridge had probably closed hours ago. This was about her, getting her back because she was wasted, but they all played along with the ruse. They were great friends.

Ebb swayed on her feet when she stood, so Fi linked her arm through Ebb’s. “Come on, now. Can’t stay here all night,” she joked.

Ebb leaned on Fiona’s shoulder as they walked out of the bar, pretending it was only to keep her balance. Pretending she wasn’t memorizing the feeling of Fiona next to her, ignoring the knowledge that this was going to end with her heart breaking.


End file.
